Caution: No Singing and Driving on Hormones!

I am writing this in my 3rd month of taking crazy hormones in order to better my fertility.  It's a really common drug, my dr. says she prescribed it like candy in Arizona.  But, why haven't I heard any other horror stories like the ones I'm living.  Oh, let me not get carried away... it's more like comedy rather than horror now that I'm looking back a little bit.  Driving up to the mountains the other day, in a great mood, even though I was driving, because my husband had just gotten a steroid injection in his back and was super loopy with all the drugs they gave him.  His dr's warned me feverlessly that he shouldn't drive at all, all day, and no drinking all day; bottom line I WAS IN CHARGE... well if they only knew me or my husband at all they know that Andy is too much of a drill sergeant and I am the free bird.  So my in-chargeness was defeated just after my first hour on the road when we stopped for my first pit stop and I was locked out of my seat!  So (back to what I was going on about) for the first hour I was driving... I much more enjoy my road trips in the passenger seat, but was very much enjoying it otherwise, the radio was just loud enough to cover our out of tuneness, but not loud enough so we could still hear each other when the wrong words were used.  A farely typical, but one of my favorite songs came on talking about loving your wife and working hard and so on; and I was belting it... and mid sentence the tears just roll, pretty close to histerics by the end of the song.  Really, I cry with a big smile on my face because my husband thinks it's hilarious.... well, and a little crazy.  

I'm pretty sure in the last half year I have earned the right to cry on cue for the next 10 years, but that's not me. I've tried very hard to keep my emotions to myself, no matter what happened I have never wanted anyone feeling sorry for me... I want to bring happiness... I want sunshine, after the rain.   So maybe after losing my son 5 months ago I wanted sunshine too soon.  I just wanted happy again.  So I went back to normal life as quickly as possible.  I went back to work 4 days after, I thought that life would magically appear in bright colors again, rather than in the dark gray cloud that my husband and I were living in.  I feel that I dealt with it the best I could, I'm not much of a mourner or a depressed person.  I became a little compulsive with getting past it... but when it rains it storms.  I then lost my job.  Then, we had to give our puppy to someone else.  Then, a friend passed.  Not in that order, because my friend passed before I lost my job, but just recently I found out about it.  I think this is the final pull to get me to write about everything is to let myself know... outloud... that there is sunshine in all this madness. 

Everyday, I just want to move forward with a smile on my face and try to get pregnant again = ) All in all life is pretty good!!